I'll Be Your Mirror

Thanks a lot, pal.

So my music buddy and I were sitting around in-between songs when I found myself going over one of my petty obsessions.

"Dude," I said. "The thing is, is that I have no idea how I come across. I have no idea what people think of me."

He glared at me, eyes pinching at the bridge of his nose. He was sick of this shit.

"Sean," he said. "You're a lovable good-natured eccentric."

He leaned a little closer, raised his voice.

"GET. USED. TO. IT."

Oh.

Okay.

So I got used to it. Over the next couple of weeks I started to settle into my true identity. It all made sense. I had to let go of my ideas of myself as an edgy, dangerous kind of guy but that was okay. Children, animals, the vulnerable -- that's why they were drawn to me. I made them feel secure. I was safe, cozy. Hey, once people get to know me they like me. Because I am a lovable good-natured eccentric.

It felt good. Smooth. Easy. I smiled and said hello to people, offered warm oaf hugs to one and all. "I may be eccentric," I thought to myself, "but I'm lovable. Lovable and good-natured. Just a big old cuddly lovable good-natured eccentric."

Then a couple of weeks later during band practice I made a cruel comment regarding my buddy's expiration date.

"Oh, I'm so sorry dude," I said. "I suck. That was really uncalled for." I leaned forward and put my right shoulder towards him. "Go ahead and slug me. I promise I won't hit back."

"Fuck you!" he said. "You're just trying to get an excuse to beat the shit out of me! There's no way you'd ever let anyone hit you! If I swung at you you'd CLIMB UP MY ARM AND CHEW MY FUCKING THROAT OUT BECAUSE YOU'RE A VICIOUS FUCKING ANIMAL!"

I withdrew the shoulder and whimpered a little.

"But I thought I was a lovable good-natured eccentric."

He wrinkled his forehead and pursed his lips. "Where did you get that shit?"

"From you. You said I was a lovable good-natured eccentric."

He rolled his eyes.

"That's total bullshit. I never said anything like that."

And then he picked up his guitar, started the drum track, and ended the conversation.

Back to the old drawing board.